David

General David Willbone Negersire, OBE (born 40 AC), commonly known only as David, is an Epic politician, hitman, and soldier currently serving as the 1st Vice President of the GGS Republic. Prior to the Presidency, David was the co-founder and co-leader of the Go Go Squeez Gang, a position he served along with Joseph Gongokovich and Lucas Cruikshank-Kwanmuang, who eventually became President and Speaker of the House respectively; he still maintains this position today.

David served in the United States Air Force from his birth until he turned 10 years old, when he decided to enter the criminal underground and become a hitman. After being caught for assassinating John F. Kennedy, David was sentenced to life in prison, until Joey offered him the chance to either become a leader in the Go Go Squeez Gang, due to his connections within the apple dealing world, or get fucked to death. David chose the former, and quickly rose in the ranks to becoming Joey's right hand man and eventual co-leader of the gang. He was later appointed to the office of Vice President of the newly-formed GGS Republic.

David has been named one of the most epic badass muhfuckas in multiversal history; he currently boasts a 100% epicness rating in his own country. David is immortal; his relation to the Chickie God makes him a god as well.

Biography
David was born David Willbone Negersire in the Nagasaki Memorial Walled District, Helsinki Prefecture, Finnish-Japanese Empire to the Chickie God. David was born fully developed; he was also fully capable of speaking and comprehending advanced mathematical and philosophical concepts. He enrolled in the United States Air Force only a few seconds after his birth, and fought in wars such as Benghazi and Hastings.

David left the Air Force ten years later after being hired by an unknown criminal organization as a hitman. He was involved in the assassination of John F. Kennedy, which led to his arrest and sentencing to life in San Quentin Federal Penitentiary. However, he was quickly bailed out by Joey, who offered him a position in the Go Go Squeez Gang, feeling that his connections to underground apple dealers would be useful in the production of Go Go Squeez.

Following his initiation into the Gang, David quickly gained the respect and trust of the members due to his resourcefulness, and rose to the rank of co-leader and honorary co-founder. After the formation of the GGS Republic, David was given the role of Vice President of the Republic.

Abilities
David has many abilities and powers, given to him by the Chickie God. These include, but are not limited to:
 * Ass kicking - An ancient martial art from the Roman era, in which the leg is used to strike at an opponent's posterior. This leaves the opponent severely disabled.
 * Ass Kicking 3000 - An enhanced form of ass kicking, developed by Bruce Lee in 1971. More power is exerted in performing the strike, ultimately increasing its speed and effectiveness. Opponents of those well versed in this art are usually killed on impact.
 * Pissing - The action of urination, usually in a target's eyes. This leaves the opponent blinded permanently.
 * Laser Piss - The action of urination, but an extremely powerful yellow laser substitutes the urine. Anybody hit by the laser is immediately disintegrated.
 * The Finger - Showing the back of a hand that has only the middle finger extended upwards. This action has the ability to trigger people and lead them to their demise.
 * Inverted Arm Man - A David-specific ability. David morphs into the Inverted Arm Man, where his arms invert themselves. This does nothing but break his arms.
 * Gunspace - The ability to summon a pistol out of thin air.
 * Wicked Dick Punch - A forceful punch directed at the opponent's dick. This leaves the opponent infertile.
 * Wicked Dick Kick - A forceful kick directed at the opponent's dick. A sister move of the WDP.

Personal life
David has one son, the Robo-Gopnik.